The Okay-ness of Backsliding
So Love Birds, You have been doing this amazing work for awhile. You have seen your habits change. The days are more fun, desperation in love is a distant memory, you have conquered your insecurities, and you believe with out a shadow of a doubt that you are on your way to your Soulmate.
Then it happens and you didn't expect it. You weren't paying attention and something triggers you. Your insecurities flair up and you feel down, that old desperation comes back, you are ashamed to look in the mirror, or you take a date with someone "just to date, " even though you don't like them. You are again at a low point that you thought you had CURED YOURSELF of. You backslid.
GUESS WHAT? IT IS OKAY.
It is impossible for you to feel happy all of the time. It is impossible to avoid feelings of negativity. The work is NEVER directed towards eradicating those feelings. Is it lovely to be happy and joyous and eager MOST of the time? Yes, of course. However, take note, there is a reason we have these negative feelings: desperation, anger, loneliness, insecurity, etc. They let us know when something needs to be addressed. They indicate when it is time to walk away. They let you know when to change course.
So Love Birds, be thankful for the full spectrum of your emotions. All emotions are there to help guide you.
Method for Backsliding:
1. Be thankful that your guidance system is working and giving you signals to pay attention to your current environment.
2. Tell yourself that it is okay to feel these things and you are learning not to LIVE in these emotions. "It's okay for me to feel this, it is and important part of my guidance system."
3. Move away from the situation, distract yourself. If you can't get away for some reason, find an affirmation you can believe and repeat it frequently. "I know I can do something about this." or "I am not going to stay here forever."
4. Find activity that does focus you on something you want to feel: Feel joy by playing with your dog, feel content with cooking a good meal, or feel happy by taking a nice long bath.
5. Know that in the future your guidance system will continue to help you figure out what you need to do or not do , where you need to be or not be, who to hang out with or not, and so on.
The power of what you already have is grounded in your well being, trust it.
You get love, yes you.
- Alexandra Loves
"Three Steps To Your Soulmate" June 28th 2015 , 4:30pm PST
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