Posts tagged Method
The Okay-ness of Backsliding

So Love Birds, You have been doing this amazing work for awhile. You have seen your habits change. The days are more fun, desperation in love is a distant memory, you have conquered your insecurities, and you believe with out a shadow of a doubt that you are on your way to your Soulmate. 

Then it happens and you didn't expect it. You weren't paying attention and something triggers you. Your insecurities flair up and you feel down, that old desperation comes back, you are ashamed to look in the mirror, or you take a date with someone "just to date, " even though you don't like them. You are again at a low point that you thought you had CURED YOURSELF of. You backslid.

GUESS WHAT? IT IS OKAY.

It is impossible for you to feel happy all of the time. It is impossible to avoid feelings of negativity. The work is NEVER directed towards eradicating those feelings. Is it lovely to be happy and joyous and eager MOST of the time? Yes, of course. However, take note, there is a reason we have these negative feelings: desperation, anger, loneliness, insecurity, etc. They let us know when something needs to be addressed. They indicate when it is time to walk away. They let you know when to change course.  

So Love Birds, be thankful for the full spectrum of your emotions. All emotions are there to help guide you. 

 

Method for Backsliding:

1. Be thankful that your guidance system is working  and giving you signals to pay attention to your current environment. 

2. Tell yourself that it is okay to feel these things and you are learning not to LIVE in these emotions. "It's okay for me to feel this, it is and important part of my guidance system."

3. Move away from the situation, distract yourself. If you can't get away for some reason, find an affirmation you can believe and repeat it frequently.  "I know I can do something about this." or "I am not going to stay here forever."

4. Find activity that does focus you on something you want to feel: Feel joy by playing with your dog, feel content with cooking a good meal, or feel happy by taking a nice long bath.

5. Know that in the future your guidance system will continue to help you figure out what you need to do or not do , where you need to be or not be, who to hang out with or not, and so on.

 The power of what you already have is grounded in your well being, trust it.

You get love, yes you.

- Alexandra Loves

www.alexandraloves.com


"Three Steps To Your Soulmate" June 28th 2015 , 4:30pm PST 

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Jealousy

Perhaps you want what they have. Perhaps you get that feeling of adrenaline/fear/loathing/annoyance when you see a display of affection or someone's wedding pictures. The jealousy might grow so big it makes your body rigid or it makes you grit your teeth.

Jealousy is simply a feeling that you can not or do not have what someone else does. It is your current belief system that holds you back from having the very thing that is causing these ill feelings.

Let's break that belief system down, lovelies.

Follow these steps when you get jealous:

1. Acknowledge out loud what is happening in your head and in your body. Be thankful for it because it is an indicator of something you need to work on. 

"I am jealous and I am grinding my teeth." or "I am jealous and it is making me think terrible thoughts about this person." and "I know this means I have some work to do here."

2. Ask yourself if you really want to feel that way. 

"Is this how I want to feel?" ( I promise the answer is "no.")

3. Set a clear intention that you will find better ways to deal with this.

" I will find help to deal with these emotions." or "This can not go on, I will change this."

4. Distract yourself from this whole subject with something that focuses you positively. Go watch a fun movie, meditate, take a run, or hang out with a great friend. You can not fix the jealousy when you are in the negative depths of it.

5. Once you find peace and contentment, then start laying your path:

Lay out the situation that caused you to feel jealousy in an objective way. Meditate on appreciation and celebrate the thing you believe you could not have that started the jealousy in the first place. Find examples that represent what you want and celebrate them, vision board them, or seek them out often. Find joyous and happy feelings and carry them for as long as possible. Journal about the beautiful things surrounding what you want. Practice these things often. Practice everyday.

Do these thing sand the next time your jealousy is triggered, you will find that the intensity of your jealousy is less, maybe by just a little or maybe a lot. Keep practicing, you will find that , one day,  in the moment you notice that someone has what you want, you will be excited, you will praise, you will attract that same thing to you!

You can have what you want. Get started now.

-Unity in Love-