I was in love with a guy who changed my life. I was certain that he was the one who I would spend my life with. We had a whirlwind of a romance and I ended up having his baby. Then I found out he was cheating on me. The break up was painful and disheartening and now my life is completely different. I find myself to be a single mom. It's not easy to grieve when you are a full-time mom and you have someone else's needs to put before your own. I can't imagine dating again. It seems daunting to start over and I'm protective of my son so it can't just be anyone. I'm also concerned that it's hard to find a good man who wants to take on a family that isn't his own.
Dear Love Bird,
My heart goes out to you in this time of confusion and frustration. We live in a society in which being a single mom is often portrayed as a negative circumstance. Nothing could be further from the truth; you are a super being. The knowledge and love you now embody through the experience of motherhood assist you in attracting a transcendent form of love.
I am talking about Soulmate Love. You, yes you, Single Mom, get love. You have a Soulmate out there.
I already know that you got two beautiful things from this experience. The first being your amazing baby; babies and small children are shining examples of pure love energy and oneness. The second being contrast. No doubt, your experience hurt. However, now you know that this treatment will never be acceptable again. I invite you to say this intention out loud, right now, in regards to your experience:
THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO ME AGAIN.
Now let's support that. It is time to make time for yourself. You will not move on if you do not have time to work through this. Yes, taking care of a child, especially by yourself, leaves little time for focussing on yourself. Remember that your child will reflect everything you are because you are the center of his or her Universe.
It is a gift to you and your child to share the happiness in all aspects in your life.
Make a commitment to yourself; 15 minutes before you go to sleep and 15 minutes before you get to household duties while your little one sleeps. You get two sessions a day where your phone is off, you aren't washing or cleaning, or planning. Do this and before you know it, more time will open up for you like magic. Use this time to meditate on what you want in a relationship. Open to the possibilities. It is your precious 30 minutes to focus on your future happiness. When you focus on what would make you happy in the future, your present will follow suit.
As for moving on from the past hurt.
Ritual for Getting Over an Ex:
Find a calm and quiet place and light a candle. Focus on a picture of your ex. Remember and feel what it was like when things were good with that person. Now remember the bad stuff. Ask yourself about the truth of the relationship (What was the relationship, really?). Forgive him and yourself; this can be a challenge and you might have to work yourself up to this. Vow to continue on with the lessons you learned in this experience. Be open to any energetic message you may get from him or the Universe in these moments. Say any last words that he needs to hear from you. Give him an energetic hug and release him to his highest good. Give the picture to your child (if that is appropriate for you) or throw it away.
Now, focus on what you want in a relationship and for your family. Love knows no bounds. It does not matter if you are a single mom, had terrible past relationships, or if your skin is blue. You get love. yes, You.